Carlene Johnson has learned through helping divorcing couples sell their homes that there are always three stories to every divorce case. “这里有一个配偶的故事, 另一方的故事, 而事实是介于两者之间,约翰逊说。, CJ 'Services Realty的所有者,由联合2021十大正规彩票app-休斯顿提供动力, 并通过Ilumni Institute获得离婚2021十大正规彩票app认证专家(CDRE).
每一方对所发生的事情都有自己的看法. 他们的看法只是他们的看法. 你作为第三者,中立的一方,接受并倾听双方的意见. Neutrality is one of the biggest components of working with divorcing couples, she emphasizes. “他们一直在建立的生活正在崩溃,”约翰逊说. “那处房产是一个据点. 很多时候,这是他们和孩子们的一切.”
Being an agent to divorcing or already divorced couples can be rewarding 和 uplifting, 但它也可能涉及你意想不到的曲折.
胆小的人不适合
多年来, Laurel Starks has served as a court-appointed agent for some of the nastiest divorce cases. They include incarcerations, 限制订单, suicides, 和 attempted murders.
“这是混乱的, 这很悲哀,斯塔克斯说。, founder of Ilumni Institute (formerly the Divorce Real Estate Institute) in Rancho Cucamonga, 加州. She also leads the Starks Realty Group of Keller Williams 和 authored the book, 众议院很重要. “I even had a case where the husb和 assaulted the wife’s attorney,” 斯塔克斯说. “这就是你在离婚2021十大正规彩票app领域工作时所得到的.”
但并不是每一起离婚案件都会带来这样的恐惧或痛苦. 你最终会在人们生命中最糟糕的日子里帮助他们. 决策变得复杂. 情绪可能会高涨. 但最终,你帮助人们进入人生的下一个篇章.
Starks’s organization specializes in divorce real estate training 和 issues the CDRE designation. 代理, 离婚律师, 和 judges from across the country are being educated about the complicated real estate components of divorce.
The 情绪 of a failed marriage can involve anger, fear, sadness, numbness, 和 elation. 作为一名探员帮助一对分居的夫妇, 如果你学会了理解,你就会遇到战斗, 飞行, 或者冻结反应, 斯塔克斯说.
“我们必须认识到出售房子对一个家庭的重要性, 和 acknowledge the trembling fear that drives much of the emotion we face with our clients,她强调说. 不要用一长串要做和要想的事情把他们压垮 你已经完成了你的工作. 我们给他们循序渐进.”
在整个过程中保持中立
斯塔克斯在她的课堂上宣扬,你不能在离婚中偏袒任何一方, 尽管这么做很诱人. Often, one person in the couple will be nicer, more cordial, 和更多的 respectful.
在一起离婚案中,斯塔克斯确实被所谓的受害者误导了. 这位妇女告诉她,丈夫总是控制着钱,并对她隐瞒了这些钱. 她说丈夫虐待她和孩子们. “她颤抖着,流着泪,”斯塔克斯说. “我为她感到难过.但后来,她发现原来是那个女人编造了这些故事.
“你可能面对的是自恋型人格, 药物滥用, 限制订单, 和更多的,她说。. “但你要保持中立. 你不能成为某一方的拥护者,否则你就失去了它.”
20年的2021十大正规彩票app老手特里萨·巴斯蒂安, Let 's Move Austin的经纪人/所有者,最近获得了cre认证, 和离婚夫妇一起工作有点私人. 她自己也经历过冲突很大的离婚. 客户可能告诉她的任何事情都不会让她感到不安、害怕或尴尬.
“这是我亲身经历过的好处,”巴斯蒂安说. “I’ve learned to reframe the situation for the couples 和 show them the things they can look forward to once the house is sold.”
在许多情况下,接受特殊训练会派上用场
Bastian dealt with a couple who had already been divorced by the time she was brought in. The woman had never removed her name from the home’s title even though her ex-husb和 owned the house. 她有孩子们的完全监护权.
在某个时候,他停止支付抵押贷款和子女抚养费. 她的信用受到了负面影响, 他们都面临着信用报告上的止赎. 这个印记可能会影响你7年, 影响诸如购买另一套房子之类的活动, 租, 以及其他金融交易.
他们都同意将其投放市场. 在任何事情上,他都不太愿意与人相处. I just kept pointing to the needs of the children to provide a framework of steps to follow.”
The half-remodeled home fell into disrepair because he had run out of steam 和 money. 但巴斯蒂安不断向他强调,通过出售房产, 会有钱支付孩子的抚养费. 她还指出,避免丧失抵押品赎回权对他有切实的好处, 太, 让他重新开始.
最后一切都解决了,房子也卖了.
“这不是我该评判的. 在离婚过程中会有很多指控,”巴斯蒂安说. “在我看来,没有任何一方. 而是卖掉房子,帮助他们俩都向前迈进.”
Johnson worked with a couple in which one party was designated as the seller 和 the other one wasn’t on the title.
“I made sure both of them signed off on all documents even though the other person wasn’t on the title,她说。.
一开始有一方不愿与约翰逊说话. 那个人还在家里,没有动力去交流.
“一开始我会伸出手来, 但他们要求我不要再打电话,只发邮件,她说。.
但这些邮件没有得到回应. She couldn’t show the home because the individual in the home wouldn’t authorize any showings even when not in the home.
So, Johnson called one day 和 left a message saying she was going to be at the home to pick up the keys. 她坚持要和那个人谈谈. 她来我家的时候发了条短信.
“那个人确实在那里,我们聊了聊. 最后,这个人意识到我是一个中立的第三方,”她补充道. “我只是不断回到我们都想去的地方. I’d say to them both, ‘I underst和 what you are saying, but let’s move forward.’”
The home eventually received an acceptable offer, 和 it went smoothly after that. 在几个月的时间里,这需要很大的毅力. 双方都开始明白,她一直在他们身边.
当他们在法庭上, divorcing couples may feel like the judge isn’t listening to them or even that their own lawyers aren’t listening to them. “他们觉得这是一场艰苦的战斗. 但我站在他们两边. 我想要的是对家庭和他们俩最好的东西,”她说.
大流行可能导致离婚率上升
在美国,大约有40%到50%的已婚夫妇离婚, 根据美国心理协会, 而后来结婚的离婚率甚至更高. 当那些离婚夫妇需要或想要出售家庭住宅时, 斯塔克斯说, 50%的离婚房源都没能在第一个经纪人找到后卖掉. 许多经纪人只是不知道如何应对波动性, 情绪, 以及可能发生的并发症.
For couples who were already on shaky ground before being quarantined together, 今年离婚数量可能会激增. “COVID has shone a spotlight onto the strengths 和 weaknesses of marriage,她说。. “The family law community is expecting a surge in filings as courts begin to open up more.”
她与全国各地的许多家庭和离婚律师交谈. They believe that the extra pressures of losing jobs or wages plus staying home all day 和 all night with the kids can push people over the edge. Their regular routines—which sometimes included ignoring the marital problems—have gone into a tailspin.
随着疫情的蔓延, couples who were on the edge of disaster might decide that sticking it out any longer would be harmful for themselves, 他们的孩子, 他们的生活,约翰逊说.
给想要进行拆分的经纪人的2021十大正规彩票app
是顽强的
It’s more than empathy, says Theresa Bastian, broker/owner of Let’s Move Austin. “坚韧会让你真正致力于多走一英里. Working with divorcing couples can be twice as much work as a regular home sale.“但不要让这对夫妇的消极情绪传染.
是值得信赖的
确保与双方保持开放和沟通, 劳雷尔·斯塔克斯强调, Ilumni研究所(前身为离婚2021十大正规彩票app研究所)的创始人. 如果你给一个人发邮件,你必须把它发给另一个人. 即使很难站队,也不要站队.
是稳定的
“你必须坚定, 不要用“我认为”或“我相信”这样的词,’”卡琳·约翰逊说, CJ 'Services Realty的所有者,由联合2021十大正规彩票app-休斯顿提供动力. “任何你不确定的迹象有时都会被用来对你不利.”
注意你和他们律师的通信
不要把你所有的信息都发给他们的律师, 因为请律师是要花钱的, 你的一些客户身无分文, 斯塔克斯说. Make sure the important information that should be put before an attorney is sent, 但不要不加考虑就把所有东西都送过去.
要注意自己的利益
当你陷入诉讼或情绪低落时, 你正步入一场2021十大正规彩票app战争, 斯塔克斯说. “这是一项有目的的工作,但你必须对冲突感到非常舒服. 这就是我的工作. 我经常去做水疗. 良好的自我照顾也很重要.”
能够走开
约翰逊第一次停止为一对离婚夫妇工作, 她既感到失败,又感到宽慰,但她意识到, “你必须划清界限. 无论你做什么或说什么,有些人永远不会听你的话或尊重你. 在这种情况下,我无法发挥作用.”